We wish this was a throwback Thursday post, but believe it or not, this is not a rule from some bygone era when cities were dominated by moralistic, draconian laws. It is something Santa Monica is actually considering.
As part of its first comprehensive zoning ordinance update in 30 years, Santa Monica plans to regulate where you can dance.
While the ordinance wouldn’t actually go as far as the plot of Footloose, it would actually make it illegal to dance in your favorite hangout spots, unless they have undergone a lengthy and expensive process to secure special permission from the city to allow dancing.
According to the proposed zoning ordinance update:
“Restaurants may provide entertainment including but not limited to music, DJs, song, dance, stand-up comedy, and poetry readings for the patrons’ enjoyment without a requirement for a Conditional Use Permit if they meet the following standards: There is no dancing or dance floor for patrons.”
Alright, so it’s not like you’ll have to go across the county line to find a good dance spot, but the new rules would mean that if you and your friends want to start a spontaneous dance party while hanging out in your favorite restaurant because the DJ is playing your jam, you could get that restaurant in (expensive) trouble with the city.
As we well know, dancing leads to fun and we can’t have that in our local restaurants. It’s best to just stay in your seat and maybe clap along to the rhythm, like in church.
We’ve got one thing to say to that: